Last we spoke with Adam Medros, he had moved through a string of ever-more-interesting C-Suite roles. Not long after, he realized he needed to hit the pause button and embarked on a sabbatical of sorts. On this Roads Taken Revisited, find out how taking time to do nothing and some new somethings can help hit the reset.
Last we spoke with Adam Medros, he had moved through a string of ever-more-interesting C-Suite roles. Not long after, he realized he needed to hit the pause button and embarked on a sabbatical of sorts. He filled the time with a number of pursuits, but none as sweet as his serious study of pastries—and not just as being a consumer of them but rather becoming quite the accomplished baker. (Amazingly, his telling of it made this our second episode featuring the word kouign-amann.) After a bit of time without a focus on anything more external to his home kitchen, however, he started getting the itch to hop back on the C-Suite track.
In this episode, find out from Adam taking time to do nothing and some new somethings can help hit the reset…on Roads Taken Revisited with Leslie Jennings Rowley.
About This Episode’s Guest
Adam Medros, an experienced C-level technology executive, is currently CEO of Spark Networks, the parent company of some of the most recognizable online dating brands in the world, particularly for singles over 40 and those with strong faith traditions. Among others, the portfolio includes Jdate, Elite Singles, ChristianMingle, and SilverSingles. And, of course, he is quite the accomplished pastry chef. Here are pictures of Adam with some of his pastry creations and Adam filling donuts.
For Adam’s first appearance on Roads Taken, listen to Disruptive Mindset.
And for the first appearance of the word kouign-amann on our podcast, listen to Risk and Reward with Jamie Hansen.
Adam Medros: That story about putting on my gym clothes but not actually working out and it being 4 p.m. That did tip at some point into like, I haven't done anything today. For a while that was wonderful and freeing and cathartic, and after a while it felt slothful and listless and a little unfocused.
Leslie Jennings Rowley: Last we spoke with Adam Medros, he had moved through a string of ever-more-interesting C suite roles. Not long after, he realized he needed to hit the pause button and embarked on a sabbatical of sorts. Find out how taking time to do nothing, and some new somethings, can help hit the reset, on today's Roads Taken Revisited with me, Leslie Jennings Rowley.
Today I'm here with my friend Adam Medros once again, and we are going to get a little catch up from where he had been when we last spoke with him. And it's maybe not what one would expect, and the interim certainly isn't. So Adam, thanks for being here and letting us in on that.
AM: Yeah, always, always thrilled.
LJR: Okay, so, last we heard, you had already made a little transition, your career had spanned many of them, so catch us up, like, the quick version of that biggest step that we'd been privy to, and then kind of what transpired after that.
AM: Yeah, if I remember correctly, I had left education and gone to work at Embark, which is a dog DNA company. I think one kid had gone to college. Trying to remember the timeline here. So yeah, so I spent two years at Embark as COO, super fun industry, get to talk about dogs every day. I know a lot more about dog breeds. But ultimately like left there pretty burned out and pretty unsure if I was going to want to get back into working at all again. And, you know, I mean, obviously [I’m] very fortunate to be able to even contemplate that type of situation, but I just had zero desire to meet with anybody, talk about business things.
And my younger child was about to graduate from high school and go off to college and leave us as empty nesters. And so I took a year off and it wasn't planned to be a full year, but it started as a minimum of six months and turned out to be a full year. And then very quickly that went from sort of doing nothing to getting a new full time job in February.
LJR: Okay. But way too many things in between. So let's go back to the word burnout because most people would think, I think, a two year job might not do that. And I can see where it could, but I also think that it was probably cumulative, because let's remember, you had been at a really big education or ed tech company, a really big travel company, kind of these well-known things in, you know, very high managerial levels, then you jump to something no one had heard of, even an industry no one had heard of. I mean, people in the know, but I don't have pets, so that was not on my radar at all. And not at the, it's been around forever and we have processes in place. So tell me how those two kind of worlds, the older tech and newer tech, worked for you and whether it really was a two year burnout or a cumulative thing.
AM: No, it was definitely cumulative. And you know, and then you, you've, you know, you add in like [the] pandemic and working from home and like organizing businesses around, you know, what turned out to be a pretty complicated, you know, economic environment made worse by a war starting in Ukraine and inflation and all these other things.
So there was a lot of stuff going on. But yeah, I had spent 13 years at TripAdvisor, which was amazing, you know, lots of growth, public company. When I left there, I went to edX. That was, you know, a like, Hey, like let's change the world, but also you got to fix this company in terms of making it money. We ultimately sold the company to 2U, which was in and of itself, you know, pretty interesting because we had been a nonprofit. So we had to like spin out this nonprofit into a for profit and then sell it.
And then I went to this dog DNA thing to kind of do it all over again in terms of like scaling and building out processes and that sort of thing. And that was, it was exciting and interesting and all those things. But it didn't necessarily go great. Some of that, you know, I can look back on, it was like definitely me. Some of that was others. And the business had been this like great pandemic business that had hit the kind of wall a little bit as people shifted their spending from buying things on Amazon to like getting back out in the world and traveling, you know. Inflation made things a little bit complicated, like competition had gotten a little more heated. And I knew it was time to take a break when I had a meeting where I just like left the meeting and I was like I don't want to talk to any of these people anymore. I don't want to deal with this stuff anymore. I'm not enjoying this. I don't have to do this every day. So I'm just not going to anymore. And I even then took four months after that to sort of, I made that decision at Thanksgiving of ’22, and I didn't leave until end of March ’23.
So I took four months to transition out and try to get everything in a good place. But like, yeah, it was, it was time. I was just, I was done. And so I then for the next two months, I did nothing, you know, in the sense of like, did not meet with anybody. Would not take calls like, Hey, do you want to just like, talk about this? Nope. If it's business related, I don't. And I would put my gym shorts on like to work out. And then like at 4pm, I'd be like, I haven't worked out today. And that's okay. And you know, kind of just like, let myself do whatever I wanted to do for a few months, which was great.
LJR: Good. Which was nothing in the beginning, but then I know you. [AM: Yes.] Your nothing is not everybody's nothing. Actually, right behind you, I can see a sign that says, get it done.
AM: Yep.
LJR: And so, even your non-professional pursuits became rather professionalized. And I was the, I got to be the on the receiving end of this and I can tell you it was delicious and not in the figurative sense. So tell everybody, how did you become a master pastry chef?
AM: So I mean, the story behind this, I can't remember if I've told you this story or not before was like, when the pandemic started, we had two kids in high school, one about to be a junior, and like pre pandemic, like, schedules were crazy, just figuring out who had what due when and who needed to be where and where our cars were going to be and all that kind of stuff. And so, me, you know, being a product manager by training, I was like, you know, I know what we need is: we need a family stand up meeting. I can tell you everyone hated this idea. Except for me, right? I mean, truly, like Sunday morning. Agenda, everybody bring like, you know, their deliverables for the week and then status update and all that kind of stuff, like, everybody hated it.
So, I thought, well, you know, here's the deal, I'll bring donuts to the meeting on Sunday, and, you know, I'll go get donuts, I'll bring doughnuts, and everybody will show up and begrudgingly, you know, eat them. Come to my meeting. And then the pandemic started and everything shut down and the kids were like, no doughnuts, no meeting, right? Like I'm not coming to the meeting. And so I was like, well, I'll make doughnuts, right? Everything's closed, but I'll make doughnuts. And I like doughnuts by the way. So like, you know, that wasn't an…
LJR: But not an easy feat, not an easy feat to make a doughnut.
AM: No. So I took, I took one online doughnut class. And then I started like going down the rabbit hole of, you know, different donut recipes and different donut techniques and I just could not wrap my head around the, like, why are these recipes different? You know, different flours are different quantities, different oil temperatures, like giving different results. And so that was just like I want to better understand these things. So I did a lot of donut making and then that led to a couple other classes and then I took a six month online pastry school class that was awesome, right? And I was doing this while I was working. So like every, during the week was like, read all the materials, like study the recipes, and then the weekends was like, bake a bunch of stuff. Take pictures. Cause the way you got graded online was like, you submitted all your pictures of like all the steps along the way and you got graded on technique and output and everything.
LJR: And your kids were grading you on taste.
AM: Kids, you know, family, neighbors were super excited to have like, like, you know, when you're making croissants, right? You don't make two, you make 30. So there was a lot of that. So it was great. And it really kind of appealed to my, like, curiosity of the process, but also kind of just like some amount of follow the steps, like the rigidity of pastry making. I, I would say I'm not great at the artistry of it all. I don't like doing things that are like super sweet or super frosted or any of those kinds of things. So I like croissants or kouign-amann or things like that. And it's been great. I took a three day class when I was on this break. I took a three day class up at King Arthur. Just making like laminated pastries, right? So croissants and stuff like that. I think there were 14 of us in the class over three days. I think we made 750 pastries. It was awesome.
LJR: Yum. And so then when you didn't want to have meetings, you didn't want to talk professional, you continue to bake.
AM: Yeah. I continue to bake and I continue to like find things that I was interested in making. I kind of honed in on, you know, there are some things I like making and some things I don't. And I discovered some new pastries that honestly. didn't know about before, but like now we're just like, I love making.
LJR: Well, kouign-amann. It's the second time that that has come up in a Roads Taken episode and I had to look it up. I didn't know what that was.
AM: Yeah. They're awesome. I mean, you know, croissant dough rolled in sugar and baked, like who's going to say no to that?
LJR: So when was it that you gave yourself that permission, or was it even permission? Like, what was the impetus for saying, Okay, now I'll start thinking about a life of less leisure? Because you had said, maybe, maybe you were done in the, like, professionalized part of your world. So when did that start to shift for you?
AM: So I'd say about the four month point, you know, there's this like tipping point that happened where that story about putting on my gym clothes, but not actually working out and it being 4pm, you know, that did tip at some point into like, I haven't done anything today, right? And for a while, that was Wonderful and freeing and like cathartic. And after a while it felt slothful and like listless and a little unfocused. And so that's when I started to like think a little bit about what would come next. And then I actually had a CEO reach out to me about a very big job that we spent five months talking about. I thought was going to happen. I was kind of like pretty excited about it. And then it kind of fell apart at the last minute. [LJR: Yeah.] And actually it was kind of crushing, right? It was kind of like, Oh my God, like, I had really mentally shifted my way back into, like, I'm gonna do this and thinking about, you know, the first 30 days or the first 60 days and, like, all the things I was gonna do, and then when it fell apart, I was like, alright, but I was excited again about these conversations, and so that then started the, like, okay, it's time to start, like, talking to recruiters. But at that point, like people had stopped calling me right for the most part because I've been telling them I'm not talking to anybody. I'm not doing anything. So I had to start, you know, reaching back out to people and saying, like, Hey, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm back thinking about it. Here's what I'm looking for. What are you seeing? This was in around October, November of last year, and you know, folks remember like lots of tech layoffs happening, you know, lots of like questions about the tech industry. And so there weren't, you know, there were things that would pop up every now and then, but it wasn't like there was a ton of momentum. So it, it took a little while, but then sort of, it went from zero to 60 with this new thing where a recruiter called me up and two weeks later I was interviewing and four weeks later I had a job offer and six weeks later I was starting. So.
LJR: Wow. Okay. And again, I love on paper, kind of all the verticals and all the industries you've been in, because I'm not sure if you find a way to patch this back to anything else you've been doing, but it again is quite unique. Tell us.
AM: Yeah, so I'm, I'm now the CEO of a company called Spark Networks. Spark Networks is in the online dating space. We own a bunch of iconic brands. So we own J-Date. We own Christian Mingle, Silver Singles. We own a bunch of brands that you've never heard of, probably, like Zoosk and Elite Singles. But this is a company that is 14-plus years old. Has been assembled over the years through a bunch of acquisitions. It was a public company up until two years ago, ran into some troubles, got taken private, and it's very much a turnaround. So half the company’s in Berlin, Germany, which is great for me because I get to practice my German. Half the company is sort of remote U.S. The business and the company and the brands have been quite honestly, pretty neglected over the years. So if you've used, if anyone out there has used our products, yeah, they're not, they're not great. And then the industry as a whole is kind of at this very weird inflection point where—you know, Match Group, which owns Tinder and Hinge, and Bumble, which is the second biggest company in the industry—users just are, like, unhappy about online dating and unhappy about how it all works, even though the business of online dating has gotten massive and has expanded to people our age. It's now commonplace. And that's, that is our customer base. Our customer base is generally 45 plus. So yeah, it's, it's fascinating.
LJR: But no one's expecting it to be a joyous experience, so the..
AM: Right. So the, it's kind of like a terrible experience until it isn't, right?
LJR: Good, good outcomes, you know, getting there not so much.
AM: Yeah. And, and people have just kind of come to accept that, but at the same time, I think what's happened in the industry over the last few years is that it's a lot of work and you know, I guess you could say like dating is a lot of work and finding a right relationship is a lot of work. There's this feeling like you have to like really wade through a lot of matches and swipes and likes and all these kinds of things. You know, it's also the first product I've ever worked on that I'm not a user and so like testing the product.
LJR: And you can't.
AM: Yeah, I can't. So when I took the job, I was like, Jenny, like, Hey, I'm going to download a bunch of apps, right? And if you're getting these notifications, I trip our fraud filters all the time because like, I want to test our products, so I have profiles on a bunch of our products, but I try to put them in places where, like, people I know aren't going to see me. And then, of course, our back end systems are like, you say that you're in, you know, Seattle [LJR: Zurich], but you're not in Seattle. Like, you're in Massachusetts, right? So then our, my account gets banned, and I have to tell our CS people, like, can you please lock all my accounts to, like, on, that type of thing.
LJR: That's hilarious. I love it. I love it. I think a number of the conversations that I've had with our previous guests have danced around this question of—being at the age we are and the life and professional experiences that we've had—When do we determine? Like, do we have another one in us, and what does that mean, and does it have to be for pay for someone else's or our own kind of monetary good, or can it be a different, more service oriented thing? How do you think about, I'm not pushing you out of this role, but like, when this one comes to some sort of fruitful end, how do you decide what that is? Is it just based on feel? And I feel like you're the one that can tell us about this.
AM: I've thought about this question a lot, right? And I've, and certainly listening to a lot of my classmates, our classmates, talk about this. You know, I think some of the challenge for me at least, right, is I hear people doing these amazing, you know, service-oriented things or other things, and I, I just, I haven't found something in that vein that I'm passionate enough about for it not to be a weekend project or not to be a, just a one time thing.
LJR: Okay, but I'm going to push you back on that, Adam, because you are not passionate about matching 70-year-olds…
AM: No, but I, no, but I'm passionate about, and you asked before, like, I actually think the through line in all of these companies is some element of community, some element of like connecting people and there being some amount of authenticity to the value of it, right? Now you might say like, well, wait, dog DNA. What was that about? But that was about like, you know, your pet is part of the family and you want to like understand the health elements of your dog's genetics that are going to, you can't change your dog's genetics, but you can with the knowledge of your dog's genetics, give your dog a better medical care or life or, you know, watch out for certain things. And so I think dating, you know, has that appeal in the sense that like there are people on the other side of this that want something that right now is, is kind of inefficient and unpleasant of a journey to go through and, and I, I believe and I am intrigued about ways to make that better through building product and building community and building these things. I'm super intrigued by the, like, I've told everybody you've heard me say this, right? This business is messy. Like this one in particular, it's a turnaround. There's all kinds of, like, landmines. I've joked with people that, like, every time we get to the bottom of a bag of snakes, there's another bag of snakes, right? And I am having so much fun, like, juggling those bags of snakes. And so, I think that part, Like, to me, what motivates me is, like, the intellectual curiosity. I think I said on the last time we talked, like, I thought I'd be a consultant forever because I thought it was just, like, intellectually interesting. And I, that's what I'm finding here.
So, you know, I had joked, I have an executive coach that I work with. I've worked with her for a long time. And I had joked at one point, like, oh, I'm going to go work at the local bakery that's hiring for the 6 a.m., like, morning baker shift, right? And she said to me, she's like, Yeah, let me tell you why you're going to hate that. And she's like, sure, you like to get up early in the mornings, and you like, you like the process of it all. About three weeks in, you're going to start looking around and noticing that like, this is not efficient, and this could be done differently. And you're going to get super frustrated that you are not in a position to like, make those changes. And so, no, don't do that. Like, don't delude yourself into thinking that this hobby that you have, that you enjoy, is gonna make for good work, right?
LJR: I love that, Adam, because it actually answers a question, or kind of is the counterpoint to what I was going to needle you for, which is, okay, so you say all of this is about community and building community and helping make it all. But I think there's a huge role in the social sector for that. And the kinds of skills and expertise that we have are so ripe for handling those bags of snakes that invariably come up with any…anything human services to you know, whatever it is. But I think that last point that you look around and you say this is so inefficient. You have to be at a place in those organizations where you can make those changes because that's where our, at least yours, but many, I think, of our skills and expertise and kind of lived experience has been. So that may be the answer to why we aren't seeing more of that second stage career for us be in those worlds. And maybe that world just needs to kind of catch up and recognize if we don't allow for that kind of participation in the sector, then all of that expertise is going to go missing or go to other kinds of startups.
AM: Yeah, I mean, you know, this is, boy, dangerous territory, you know, given the political environment we're in, right? But like, you know, this idea of like, business people being better political leaders. I mean, I appreciate the efficiency and focus that business brings to things, but some places, some environments don't need and shouldn't necessarily have that as its driving force and driving motivator. And, you know, when I was in the education space, right? You know, university space. Anant, who was the CEO of the company, founder of the company, had once said to me, we were, we were trying to make something happen that, you know, economically made perfect sense. Our board wanted to happen, but faculty was not excited about it. And me naive business guy was like, Hey, well, our board members are the presidents of two institutions and the treasurers of those institutions. They can just like make it happen, right? And Anant said to me, you know what you call a 11-to-one vote in faculty committee? And I said, no, and he said, it's called a split decision. And it just apologies to our, you know, to our academic classmates here, but there are reasons why faculty have that power. And there are reasons why for academic freedom reasons, and that that is a good thing. But it's hard to, run an efficient organization when the incentives and you know, the sort of motivations aren't necessarily aligned.
LJR: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is not a conversation meant to change the world and all the things, but it does make me think I'm very interested to know who the lucky winner will be in the next horse race to get your talents after this one has run its course.
AM: Well, we got a, I got a lot of work left to do, so…
LJR: I know, I know, I know. So, so then the last. I just want to, you are an empty nester now, and how does that change your world, if at all, now?
AM: Yeah, I mean, it's, when the first one left, it was kind of like a little strange, but you, you know, you still have the second one there, kind of occupying space and showing up at dinner or not showing up at dinner or, you know, all those sort of things. When the second one leaves, it was just weird for a little while. And when you layer on top of that, like. For a while I wasn't working, right, so like beyond sabbatical, and then now working, but I work from home. I'm here most of the time. It's a little strange. You got to develop new routines. You got to kind of like re-establish, like, what are our norms, and how do we, like, interact, and like, what do we talk about, and all those sort of things.
Having dogs helps. Like, you know, they need walking and feeding and that kind of thing. But it also is like, it's freeing in a lot of ways, right? You know, I can, you know, get on a plane to go to Germany for a week. And it's not that disruptive to everyone's lives and schedule. So it's interesting and fun. And like, we're figuring new things out. There's kind of a freedom that comes with it.
LJR: That's, that's awesome.
AM: Like if we want to go have oysters at, you know, 6 PM and we'll go do, have oysters at 6 PM. Why not? Who's going to stop us?
LJR: Exactly. And so what toll has this job taken on the baking career?
AM: Yeah, I've been on hiatus for a while. So I just, I just this past weekend, I think for the first time in a while, made some stuff. So I made some, I made hamburger buns for my lunches. I made some macarons. I've got some extra egg yolks in the fridge, so I'm gonna make some cannella de Bordeaux.
LJR: Yeah. As one does.
AM: As one does.
LJR: Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, it seems like you're filling your time and your days and your everyone's stomachs with very good things. And I just can't wait to hear what the next thing is. I'm sure it will be a fun wrinkle and hope you feel us in. So thanks so much, Adam.
AM: It will be amusing, no doubt. So I always enjoy getting this chance.
LJR: That was Adam Medros, an experienced C-level technology executive who's currently CEO of Spark Networks, the parent company of some of the most recognizable online dating brands in the world, particularly for singles over 40 and those with strong faith traditions. Among others, the portfolio includes J-Date, Elite Singles, and the one I think I'm sorry to report all of my classmates and I are now eligible to be part of, the 50-plus serving, Silver Singles.
As for our relationship, you know I love you, right? So it’s very hard for me to say this. I think we need to take a break. And just to be clear, it's not you, it's me. A lot’s going on right now. For you too? Good. Well, while we're both dealing with that, remember that the full show archives are available at roadstakenshow.com. And for those of you ready for a little more commitment, go ahead and follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. That way, you'll be the first to know whenever there are new episodes posted from my guests and me, Leslie Jennings Rowley, on Roads Taken.
