On this memorial day, when the country mourns the loss of the U.S. military personnel who have died while serving in the United States armed forces, we join in the tradition of giving solemn thanks and remembrance. To mark our 96th full-length episode of Roads Taken, we are presenting this special Memorial Day episode in which we remember those classmates in Dartmouth’s Class of 1996 who have died. Only one of these classmates served in the U.S. military, though they all shared a spirit of service. Although their roads were too short, their stories stay with us.
On this memorial day, when the country mourns the loss of the U.S. military personnel who have died while serving in the United States armed forces, we join in the tradition of giving solemn thanks and remembrance. To mark our 96th full-length episode of Roads Taken, we are presenting this special Memorial Day episode in which we remember those classmates in Dartmouth’s Class of 1996 who have died. Only one of these classmates served in the U.S. military, though they all shared a spirit of service. Although their roads were too short, their stories stay with us.
In this first of two episodes, we remember ten of the nineteen classmates who have died:
Sarah Devens
Phil Deloria
Heidi Hatchel
John Higgins
Dean Maragos
Christopher Ostoj
Jeremiah Thompson
John Cocoziello
Kimberly Williams
Timothy Farrell
[A transcript of the brief remembrances is available.]
We remember our friends today and always.
Next week, we will remember the other nine classmates whose roads were cut way too short.
Until then, if you have any additional words of remembrance for any of the classmates discussed on today’s episode, please visit the Roads Taken show page within Apple Podcasts and write a review filled with your memories. Or leave us a note through the Contact Us link at RoadsTakenShow.com.
May the memories of our time together and these lives that intertwined with ours be reminders to make the most of our time on Earth, and to be grateful for our own Roads Taken.
Leslie Jennings Rowley: On this memorial day, when the country mourns the loss of the U.S. military personnel who have died while serving in the United States armed forces, we join in the tradition of giving solemn thanks and remembrance. To mark our 96th full-length episode of Roads Taken, we are presenting this special Memorial Day episode in which we remember those classmates in Dartmouth’s Class of 1996 who have died. Only one of these classmates served in the U.S. military, though they all shared a spirit of service. Although their roads were too short, their stories stay with us.
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Before we even left the College on the Hill, in 1995 we lost our first two classmates.
In July, right before our senior year began, Sarah Devens died. Known to many as “Devil” due to her fierce competitive streak, sly smile, and athletic prowess, she played on three varsity teams at Dartmouth—field hockey, ice hockey and lacrosse—being named a captain of all three. A close friend from childhood, Daphne Clark Faldi, remembers Sarah living life “with passion and speed intertwined with spirit and emotion.” And yet those characteristics combined in devastating ways. Fellow ’96 Doug Asano, who was friends with Sarah both in high school and at Dartmouth, said his relationship with her and her shocking death “put a whole new perspective for me on life, friendship.” And, in fact, the impact of her life and death was felt well beyond those who knew her. Sophie Ward, a current member of Cornell’s women’s lacrosse team who attended Sarah’s high school wrote: “I’ve lost sleep over your legacy for years, never truly understanding why I thought about you so much. In middle school, I’d write your initials on my wrist before every game: ‘SD’ in messy Sharpie. I didn’t understand how someone I had never met could have such a profound impact on me. But you do, Sarah. You just do.” It is a refrain heard over an over about Devil: she continues to work her magic in the minds and hearts of others to this day.
Her death was followed relatively quickly by that of Phil Deloria, who died in October of our senior year. He had been an active member of Native Americans at Dartmouth, serving as president summer term. He had had long-term plans for law school and public office.
Their deaths by suicide were dark moments that left many confused, hurt, and sad. Likely none of us adequately dealt with these losses at the time. In remembering Phil and Sarah today, we understand how important it is for us to continue to seek the signs and address the stigma of mental health issues, for ourselves and those around us.
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Soon thereafter, in December of 1996, Heidi Hatchel—having remained in Hanover for a graduate degree from Thayer School of Engineering—was killed in an automobile accident. She had been a four-year member of the women’s soccer team, at goal keeper. Fellow soccer teammate Kate Andrews Kelly remembers Heidi, as quiet and very engaged in her engineering path and “introverted and fairly serious in an environment of mostly extroverted and gregarious people. A member of the Dartmouth Formula Racing Team, she also loved to hike and climb and was a certified ski instructor, working at the Dartmouth Skiway.
Our next classmate to remember was also a quiet, introspective soul. John Higgins died in 1998. At Dartmouth he earned a combined degree in economics modified with engineering and was a member of the Alpha Delta fraternity, where he was intramural chair. Before his death, he had launched a very early internet startup but had moved to Chicago to work for Hewitt Associates, a human resources consulting firm. One of John’s fraternity brothers at AD, Johnathon Stewart, remembers him as something of a deep thinker and one of the most misunderstood people he knew. As Stew says “He was outwardly smart, kind, and had this bizarre, beautiful sense of humor.” Stew goes on, remembering a late night after the festivities of Green Key had died down: “The campus was asleep and we took a long walk and kind of quietly took everything in. The history, the architecture of the buildings we'd been in and out of so many times without so much as a thought… we let it all wash over us - the simplicity and wonder of it all - in this peaceful, quiet moment in time. Few words were exchanged, but the experience was profound, one of the most peaceful moments of my life. I hope John was able to find that kind of peace again.”
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Within the next two years, we lost two other classmates: Dean Maragos, who was an economics and government major, member of Chi Gamma Epsilon, and radiohead at WDCR/WFRD, died in 2000. Two years later, California native Christopher Ostoj died. He entered Dartmouth intending to study law, but pivoted first to creative writing and then to studio art. After junior year, he took a year off to pursue art, studying first at the Chautauqua School of Art in upstate New York and then the New York Studio School in Manhattan. He ended up graduating with the ’97s, first living in New York and then back in California. Although he died in 2002, he is memorialized in poems by classmate Erika Meitner and paintings by Scott Listfield ’98, with whom he shared studio space in Hanover. As Scott tells it, “He used to look at my paintings and tell me, very seriously, to “Be more punk rock.” At the time, I’ll admit I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but it certainly seemed pretty bad ass, so I wrote it on my studio wall and repeated it to myself every now and again.”
A classmate who could have been described as much “punk rock” as “soulful,” was Jeremiah Thompson. He died in September 2005 in a hang-gliding accident. Jeremiah, who had put off college for a year for a spot on the U.S. Ski Team and later served as captain of the Dartmouth ski team, was a member of Alpha Delta and was a mathematics major modified with physics. He continued to graduate school in mathematics at the University of California, Santa Barbara, graduating with a master’s degree in mathematics and starting in the Ph.D. program, but ultimately followed the dotcom boom and worked as a software engineer for a number of startup companies. While living in California, he became a skilled surfer and amateur sushi chef. Moving to Chicago to put his math and computer skills to work in finance, he developed a love for hang gliding. As his friends and family put it, “Easily the most alive and vibrant person any of us knew, Jeremiah died as he lived—on the edge and in passionate pursuit of joy.”
A year later, in 2006, Jeremiah’s fellow AD brother, John Cocoziello also passed away. John—or “Coco” as many knew him—was a member of the squash team, the rugby squad, and Gryphon, and was a presidential scholar.
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Kimberly Williams, who died the same year at the age of 32, was involved in a wide array of activities at Dartmouth from making music with the Chamber Singers to volunteering at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, to being an UGA. She was always connecting with people and making them feel better. After graduation, she attended and completed two and a half years of medical school at Washington University Medical School in St. Louis, on a full academic scholarship, before she had to withdraw due to illness. Throughout her own medical ordeal, she was a trusted resource for others with similar illnesses. Her perpetual state of being concerned for the well-being of others was most evident in a piece she wrote for The Daily Dartmouth our senior year. Entitled “Take Time to Listen to Friends,” the piece, entreating us to do just that, ended with this salvo: “None of us is ever responsible for what another person chooses to do, but we are all responsible for making this world, and more pertinently, our immediate community, as livable as possible, on an everyday basis. So in this sense, it's not even a solution; it's simply a step toward creating a community in which we value people more than we value our grade point averages, our future jobs, our team standings or our awards. And it is the first step toward Dartmouth becoming a place that will teach us what we need to know in order to become more effective teachers, doctors, administrators, lawyers, parents and friends: That the only way we will all make it through is by caring about each other really.”
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Tim Farrell, the lone servicemen among those who left us too soon, was a member of the track team, advancing to the IC4A Championship meet all four years. He was also elected to the First Team All-Ivy, in our freshman and junior years. A philosophy major, he studied in Scotland for a term at Edinburgh University. He also served as an intern for Congressman Chris Smith (Republican from New Jersey). Tim joined the Marine Corps in 1997 and was a decorated Marine captain, stationed in San Diego, deployed to Japan and the Middle East. He also served on the USS Harper's Ferry as a logistics officer. He earned a Masters in International Relations at San Diego State. At the time of his death in 2009, he was working for the State Department as Vice-Consul in the US Consulate General in Frankfurt, Germany.
We remember Tim today and always, along with all those mentioned in this episode.
Next week, we will remember the other nine classmates whose roads were cut way too short.
Until then, if you have any additional words of remembrance for any of the classmates discussed on today’s episode, please visit the Roads Taken show page within Apple Podcasts and write a review filled with your memories. Or leave us a note through the Contact Us link at RoadsTakenShow.com.
May the memories of our time together and these lives that intertwined with ours be reminders to make the most of our time on Earth, and to be grateful for our own ROADS TAKEN.